on 2007-04-01 @ 10:40 a.m.
I'm feeling violent crashes of pre-nostalgia. Yesterday, everytime I started to even think about leaving him, tears would begin to gather at the corners of my eyes. It's really quite pathetic. It's just... the night before, we were sleeping side by side, in love, and I was so sure I would be spending the next four years of my life by his side. But more than anything, distance will rip us apart. I want to stay. I want to stay IwantotsatayIwanttostay. Somewhere within me, I had been hoping to be rejected, and it had been working for every single school. Except my last one. My very last letter came as acceptance. Maybe it's all a cruel joke. I can't sacrifice my education, as much as I am hurting to do so. It's so tempting because I love him this much. We said we would stay together until we were apart physically. And it's about to happen.
I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm so weak. I can't put myself in a relationship in college. It's just too much. When I was wishing to fall in love, I didn't know it'd be this bad.
I don't want him to move on. I want him to wait for me. There're still breaks... I keep telling myself that. That I'll still see him.
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