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on 2010-05-10 @ 2:49 a.m.

Living my life like this... constantly wishing for the past... not knowing how good it is now... can this be good for me? One day I'll look back, and this is the time I'll be missing.

That day the four of us spent a whole night looking at old pictures... weird that one of my favorite memories might be a memory of us remembering things... laughing and yelling about things that were, seeing now how we might have been feeling then, it's an interesting feeling. The day after Tim said Last night was so happy, and I knew exactly what he meant.

Spending these days upstairs on the futon wedged between Mike and Alex with a sleeping bag covering us, my right thigh abnormally conscious of his hand... wondering if I'd feel too vulnerable watching Honey and Clover, wondering if it was really reality, and if this is true unrequited love after all?

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