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on 2011-08-19 @ 1:41 p.m.

Just had a talk with my dad about many things (including family entanglements), and I now know exactly where I inherit my insensitivity from. I always want people to become instantaneously happier and to get over whatever was making them upset. That's why to most people I seem so happy. It's because I so easily force myself to get over it. I don't see the point in mulling over something bad that has happened to you. I don't see the point in not seeing the brighter side. I don't get why people need a period of healing. But sometimes that's exactly what people need, and I can't force them to think of the billions of people with worse lives in Africa. I can't force anyone to become happy; they need to realize it themselves. But at the same time, it IS important to tell someone to just get over it. I still haven't figured out where to draw a balance, but I'm definitely at the more insensitive end of the spectrum right now.

Because of how I've been raised by my dad I feel like I have to get over anything painful as fast as possible. It feels not okay in my heart to sulk or to dwell. Other people say I'm strong, but being "strong" can be a flaw too. I really see now that EVERYTHING needs to be in moderation. Nothing at any extreme can be good. But the problem once again, is to find that balance...

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