on 2013-06-03 @ 3:16 a.m.
It's been a long time since I've stayed up all night thinking about us. Lying drowsily awake in Val's living room, I thought about our lack of a possible future, and I kept wading my arms through the puddles outside as cars passed over them loudly. And along with the city, I never slept either. Sleep no more. This is New York.
I feel so weird and lonely and directionless. Maybe Frances Ha was too much about me. Watching it felt strange this afternoon. I got so annoyed at her, but in hindsight, it was like watching me in a movie. When you said "I feel competitive" towards you our sophomore year, I felt there was a gap between us I couldn't bridge. And here I go again, jumping from person to person, from you to you. The people who can keep me up at night.