I have to get out
on
2004-08-01 @ 1:42 p.m.

Sometimes the weather out there is just so terrifically beautiful. So terrifyingly beautiful.

And I wish desperately I had someone.

Don't we all wish...

And I want to write something. But my hands are empty. As empty as my hollow tin heart. Now that was true corn ladies and gentlmen.

Ha. I have the guts to joke at a time like this.

That feeling again. I've had it before. My insides are shedding. It's a warm sort of feeling.

I want to live in a place filled to the brim with people. Like China. So that I'll at least have the impression of a full life. But here. The streets are so empty. And I don't know if I love it or hate it. I tell myself to quit all the nonsense beliefs. It's quite hard.

To tear myself out of romance...

That would be suicide.

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