on 2003-07-22 @ 3:36 a.m.
Don't mind the date and time. My clock decided to reset itself again. Remind me of better times maybe. It's 8/8/04 1:48 p.m.
I was reading someone's xanga entry. And unexpectedly. Tears came. That person, whom I don't know, is in the same love-hate situation as me. And I think. It makes me feel a little better to know I'm not the only one hurting.
I'm not the only one hurting.
He wrote:
"it caught me completely off guard.
it caught me completely off guard.
it may not be a big deal to anyone, or even her,
but im addicted to that feeling.
and it crushes me to know that it may never be."
You. You caught me completely off guard. You snatched away my heart before I ever built a wall. You caught be in a vulnerable state. You surprise me. Every single day.
Do I surprise you?
Can I give you the same satisfaction, as you give me? The answer. Might be no. And that scares me. A whole lot.
Knowing that my feelings may be a thousand times stronger. Knowing that I can't get over it. But you may be able to.
That hurts.
And knowing that you still trap me, still surprise me. Even now. After I thought you'll never be able to catch me off guard ever again. You do it again and again and again.
But I guess I was also the one who prayed you would.